Grief is something that we do our absolute best to stay as far away from as possible. Yet God created it so it must be good right? Well actually, yes grief is a good thing.
How can that be? Well remember that even Jesus Himself wept as he stood among His best friends as they mourned the loss of Lazarus. Why does the Bible go to the trouble to tell us that Jesus wept? Especially when Jesus could have saved Lazarus from dying in the first place? Two reasons:
- The biggest purpose is to show us that Jesus cried and felt sorry for people just like we do. Our God has feelings, and He loves us, and when we grieve, so does He. So when we start thinking that Jesus has no idea what we are going through, we can remember that He wept when Lazarus died.
- If Jesus grieved, then it is ok for us to grieve as well.
Grieving is the process of replacing something we have lost with something new. We can grieve the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a relationship, or the loss of a friendship, or even the loss of a job. The grieving process is indeed a healthy process and it allows us to sort through our emotions and gets us ready to let go of something and get ready to replace it with something new.
IF we fight the grieving process, or if we try to minimize our feelings and tell ourselves that our loss was no big deal, we can damage ourselves and truly end up hurting ourselves in the long run by deadening our feelings and emotions. Crying is perfectly fine. Feeling sad is perfectly fine. Crying and feeling sad for weeks on end is not perfectly fine and is a sign that we are not processing our feelings in a healthy way and it is time to seek help.
When it comes to grieving, we must embrace the process. Losses are hard, that is true. But like all things in life, we become what we focus on. It is great to remember those we lost, but not to the detriment of the rest of our lives. Moving on with our lives does not mean we no longer love someone. It simply means we honor them with our great memories and we ready ourselves for whatever God has in store for us next.
If you have trouble with the grieving process, please seek help. Getting stuck in it can cause you permanent emotional damage, and that is not how God wants you to spend your life.
Pastor Brad Komgenick