Men you need to be very aware that all of your actions and all of your words are being fully watched and heard by your spouse and your children. As well, what you DO NOT say or do is also duly noted by your family.
A Godly man who is a strong spiritual leader of their homes knows this and ensures that they are capturing their words and actions before they let them go to ensure that they line up with what would be pleasing to God.
Men this does not mean that you never discipline a child or correct your spouse. Those things are very much needed in all families. What I am referring to are those times when a child makes a mistake and you have the urge to call them “stupid” or “ignorant” or tell them that “they will never amount to anything.” As well, when you need to correct a spouse, the absolute wrong way to go about it is to say, “Well there is yet another thing you messed up! Can you not do anything right?”
You can see that your words and actions are always being seen and heard by your family and you can choose to either build them up or tear them down.
By the same token, you can do a lot of damage to a family by never being present, by never saying anything at all, and by never spending any quality time with your family.
Your decision to shut down and never talk sends a very strong signal that you do not feel your family is worth taking the time to talk to. That is an incredibly bad signal to send and is always a great way to end up in divorce court or end up with children who have no idea what love means in their lives.
Men, life is about choices. You must begin to make choices that will build and strengthen your family and stop either making selfish choices, or not making any choices at all!
When was the last time you prayed with your kids or your spouse? When was the last time you prayed that God would watch over your family when you cannot be with them? When was the last time you made sure your family was at church, even when some of them may have asked not to go? When was the last time you asked your family if they had any questions about the Bible and what it means to them? If you are cannot immediately name the dates and times here, then let you assure you that you are struggling with being the Godly spiritual leader of your home.
Men our families need us desperately! They need us to be the rocks and foundations that our homes are built upon. We cannot be spiritual sissies and wimps. We cannot be selfish people who always feel that we need “me” time more than we need “family” time.
Just imagine that every time you came home you were either totally ignored or else you were always being spoken down to, how long would you want to continue to come home? Not long is the proper answer. Do not be the man that fosters that kind of home life.
Children really need lots of structure, discipline, and love in order to become well rounded, God-fearing adults. We need to set the example for them by the way we live and the words we choose to use and what we decided to watch on TV and how we use our free time. If your kids are seeing you yell at your spouse, or ignore them, or talk abusively to them, then guess what – you can rest assured that they will grow up to behave the exact same way you do. Please be a cycle breaker and stop the madness!
It is my prayer that if you are struggling to know what it means to be a Godly, strong, spiritual leader of your family that you would reach out to us here at God’s Light because we are here to help you. There is an epidemic sweeping across our nation of homes where the Dad just is never present either emotionally, spiritually, or mentally and this has to stop. We are equipped to help you! Please reach out to us at 317-379-2842 if you feel like you need help.
With love and prayerful hope for your future as a family,
Pastor Brad Komgenick
God’s Light Christian Counseling