Tough love is loving someone when they least expect it and least deserve it. The love that is in our gospels can truly be summed up with two words: LOVE CONQUERS!
The love the Bible teaches is not some type of quick “love at first sight until I see something better” love. It is a long suffering love that always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. It is a love that even loves its enemies.
It is a love based from the very life of our Savior Jesus Christ, who allowed Himself to be nailed for a cross and be killed for sins He did not commit in order that every person would have a chance to choose Him, to choose everlasting life, and to choose Heaven.
Tough love is sacrificial – it is never dictated by someone elses performance. It is a covenantal love – for better or worse, richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health.
Men it is always easy to love your wife when all things are going extremely well isn’t it? But let them call us on some bad behavior we have and then it is not so east is it? This is because we let our love for our wives become reactive. Instead tough love is proactive – it is not a need-seeking love it is a need meeting love!
One of the great mistakes we make is thinking that God feels about us the same way we feel about ourselves. In doing this, we project our our imperfections onto God! Here is the absolute truth about God and love – there is nothing you can do to make God love you any more or any less that He already does. God loves you perfectly and eternally.
Men this means that we must love our wives and family even and especially when we do not feel like it or when we feel like they do not deserve it. It means that immediately when we may feel attacked by our families our first thought should be, “I forgive you for your actions and my love for you means more to me that being right and arguing with you.” This is the love that Jesus modeled for us.
This is exactly why it is called tough love. It is tough to love those who seem not to love us. Jesus will always bless and get behind this kind of love by working in the hearts of those who may seem to be showing less that loving affection towards us.
Men you can rest assured that when you take on this kind of love in your hearts and minds, you have taken your first step to a life of pleasing God and a life of much better and stronger love relationships.
Yes true love is tough love, but it is the best kind of love as it is worked for. Jesus was nailed to a cross for His love. Have you been nailed to a cross? Have you even suffered in the least for your love or do you simply shut down and walk away when things get tough?
Hang in there men and do the right thing! Honor God by having tough love in your life.
With great love,
Pastor Brad Komgenick
God’s Light Christian Counseling/Coaching