When we are in the middle of having some sort of marriage issue, it will almost always seem as if your spouse is simply not listening to you. And you would probably be absolutely right.
Almost every single issue that happens to married couples happens because of a communication breakdown. One or the other of you stops listening to the other because they feel their needs are not getting met, so why should they listen to you talk about your need not getting met, and the vicious circle just goes on and on.
“How do we stop this?” you ask? That is the hard part – one or the other of you has got to be willing to realize that you love the other person more than you need to be right or have your needs met. Once this happens you will make the choice to sit your partner down and tell them that you want to listen to what they are feeling and try to better understand why they are feeling that way.
Here is the magic to doing this – once you do this, you will find that your spouse feels valued and then all of a sudden they will be willing to listen to you tell them about how you are feeling.
The secret to awesome communication is this – be willing to listen more than you speak. Knowing when to listen and when to speak is the key to getting great communication started. As well, when you do start communicating again, always start each conversation by asking your partner, “What do you need from me from this conversation before we begin? Do you need me to fix anything or are you wanting me to just listen and attune with you?” This simple question will tell you exactly whether you need to be thinking about how to help your spouse fix an issue or whether you just need to listen and do your best to understand how they are feeling.
Great communication = great and healthy marriages. Want your partner to listen to you? Try listening to them first and you will be glad you did!!
Are you currently experiencing trouble in your marriage? Are things to the point where neither of you know how you can fix things? Then we encourage you to give us at God’s Light Christian Counseling a call as soon as possible. We are experts at Marriage and Family Counseling and Coaching and truly want to help you have the marriage you have always wanted. We offer extremely convenient video counseling sessions that occur right from the comfort of your own home and during the hours that are convenient for you. Call us today to schedule your free one hour introductory session with us today as our calendar is filling up quickly for November.
God bless you!
CEO and Lead Counselor
God’s Light Christian Counseling